My Potential Reluctant Farewell

By Adam Hooper

Over 10 years ago I created a Facebook community (Sperm Donation Australia), with the one goal of making it credible, attracting people with the right motivations of purely wanting to altruistically help people and ultimately creating a safe space with a strict set of rules and guidelines. It started at a time when same-sex marriage was not legal and many same-sex couples felt they would be judged for having children, to a point where many did not even consider the possibility. Fast forward to 2024 we have had the recent baby announcements such as Sam Kerr and Kristie Mewis with a bundle of joy on the way, 10 years ago such announcements were simply not happening at a large scale at how often they’re done to today and I take enormous pride in helping contribute to breaking down these stigmas, by setting up a safe space a discrimination-free community that inspired thousands upon thousands of people to create their families this way. It was not only LGBTQI+, but we also seen the rise of single women by choice, electing to start a family this way or add additions to their family, with dating app technology it is much harder to find that special person to start a family with. We have people who experienced domestic violence, who never wanted to risk intimacy again, dare to dream that too could have their own family this way.  We have had people given medical advice that they have to act suddenly to have a child or risk missing out altogether.  Sperm Donation Australia has delivered many successful outcomes that have touched and impacted so many lives in the most heartfelt way.

In Australia, you can’t profit from Sperm Donation, naturally, previously had very few men signing up and donating, as there simply was no incentive but there were no stories out there about it being a nice thing to do that could also be rewarding. I was a big advocate of known donations, I studied people who were conceived from clinics and a lot of them were consumed with identity issues, and negative outlooks on life, and I thought these people couldn’t contribute to society in a functional positive way with such a burden that hangs over them and consumes so much of their time thinking about it and unable to move forward, I also thought I wouldn’t want that for any of my own children. Also, as a donor I would like to know these children were being raised in good families and the ability to hand-pick made me feel so much at ease and also paid me back in spades, I had lifelong friendships and updates with these children’s lives, which this alone would make it so much enticing for men with a high eq able to also become donors. In a recent conversation with An Australian clinic representative (who was potentially inquiring at utilizing working SDA) had said. “Without your contribution and the sudden rise in people now acquiring sperm, Australian clinics would be looking at 5 years wait for access to Australian local sperm donors” and that the community I created and the work I have done has still maintained it around 2 years despite the significant demand. I am very proud of what I have been able to contribute to society and over the past 10 years I have lived a unique life in being able to feel good that I was doing the right thing for many people and creating so much happiness.

My vision for Sperm Donation Australia was transparency and to have it as transparent as possible while also protecting myself and my own family.  I never wanted it to be a shady underground community, I wanted it to be something we could all be loud and proud of, and this required a face, a face that was willing to go on TV and willing to front of the media with all their questions of curiosity and scepticism. There was a fork in the road as to committing to do this could put an immense target on my back, we live in a society with all different types of views and opinions and outlooks on life the person or people at Meta that pulled the trigger on this decision to remove me from the platform after 10 years must share similar backward views. Making myself a public figure and spokesperson gave people a face they could either be happy or sad about depending on one’s ideology. Some examples of this I have experienced threats from people who are homophobic, and believe only a man and woman should be able to start a family. That single women shouldn’t be allowed to have children by themselves. Then some people are clinically donor conceived that don’t have access to their donor and confuse their trauma as the same as children who now can know via this community that wants all children born from donor conception banned. lastly, when running a large-scale community, I have had men who have been banned for being inappropriate, threatening to track me down come to my house and want to physically threaten me. Running this type of group has to come with a certain set of caution, I have had to deal with my fair share of legit stalkers over the years and Facebook isn’t going to come to my protection and be my saviour from such encounters, I can only set up appropriate safety measures for myself.

This brings us to now, 1 week ago 20th November at 5.20 am Perth time, my Instagram and Facebook were removed simultaneously, at first, I was in shock, and could not believe it everything I have worked for in the past 10 years had gone, but not only that all my personal memories and private memories deleted. Ignorantly I never used a cloud to save all my files, I used Meta as a time capsule of my life, all my memories of my children, from photos from the day they were born, to other major milestones erased. I never thought in 1000 years that my account would be venerable, I was doing a good thing in my mind, the media articles over the years while remaining balanced ultimately portrayed the community in a positive light. Meta has known about this community for years as well as more shadier ones, I always thought if Facebook was going to act, they would remove the groups and people where there was no system or high standards. Meta has also received paid advertising from the community to promote which they happily accepted. The number of hours and Facebook time that my members have used on their platform would have contributed to so much revenue for them, that I am seriously at a loss as to why or how this happened. Funnily enough, the group had its image removed as the cover of the page, which was professionally made to look the part, yet remains. Why was the group image removed it contained nothing inappropriate or graphic. How long for who knows as the group has no current admin and could potentially vanish in 23 days from now, worst case scenario.

While I have some great moderators that can potentially carry on, I ultimately kept the group safe by screening all the members who requested to join, why would Meta delete me and weaken the group to potentially make it unsafe? I have no idea as to the reason I was suddenly banned after publicly doing what I have been doing for the past 10 years, as a donor I pretty much was retired from taking on any new recipients personally. I was just moderating the group at the time of removal. They never gave me a direct reason why for the ban, but like anything if you want to ban someone from your platform there is always a loophole or an open interpretation they could opt for. For example, when joining the group new members receive a guide ultimately this is to protect them and anything untoward happening to them while using the group and the Meta platform which should be encouraged, but they could if they wanted to interpret it as advertising or promoting. I have never misled or deceived others, never had to evade enforcement.

It’s a mind-boggling decision made by Meta, but whoever made this decision obviously has no heart, obviously does not align with the people this community has helped. Where to now? I am still coming to terms with this, but I can’t help but feel betrayed, I have gone on record saying this is the best platform for screening and keeping people safe, I have had entrepreneurs approaching me over the years wanting to use me as the face of the platform they wished to create taking it off Facebook, but I always declined, it would have been nice if Meta gave me some courtesy after 10 years’ service to their platform that this was no longer in their vision, at least I could saved all my family memories. I am currently grieving a close uncle I lost in the past month and every photo and conversation with him I no longer have access to and this is what hurts the most, the recipients I helped and the access we had together on our personal group page we could interact with has all been taken away, everything that I said was good about Facebook in being an ongoing stable platform didn’t turn out to be true.

If anyone has access to a Facebook employee who can rectify this, it would be gladly appreciated, right now I wish to get my photos and memories back, I realised this is most important to me. As for continuing the group I have mixed emotions about this 10 years is a lot of time and dedication involved, I almost feel like the weight off my shoulders has been lifted from such duty taken away from me and that I can do other things with my time, as it was very time-consuming, on the other hand, I feel torn as it was a sad way to go out and not on terms I would of wanted it to, would have liked to have set up the community with a good handover plan in place before leaving. This webpage has been paid for the next few years and everything on here will continue to operate actively, Shane Maynard also has access to the domain. So, this side of things won’t be abandoned. I guess my future is out of my control and out of my hands and it will come down to the goodwill of someone potentially reading this to get this overturned.

Lastly, I want to say if this is the end it has been a pleasure, to put so many smiles on so many families’ faces, it’s been a proud moment in my life being able to contribute to society in such an amazing way. If anyone wishes to get hold of me, you can reach me at adamhooper@dr.com