The planet has almost 8 billion people wandering around on it and of that, it is believed to be around 10 million people on the planet conceived in alternative methods such as IVF and Artificial Insemination (Ai). It’s only in Sperm Donation World communities that Artificial Insemination is the most sort out method, and this is largely due to our community’s large amount of same-sex couples and many countries laws recognizing sexual intercourse, not as a donation and legally making them a parent in the eyes of the law.
Yet many people, especially single mothers to be by choice elect the Natural Insemination (Ni) option for various reasons and some donors elect to only donate by those methods. We will cover this method top to tail and call out the bullshit along the way.
If Ni is a method you’re genuinely considering or open to the first thing you should do is see your doctor and get a full Sexual Transmitted Disease test (STD), even if you have been in a previous long term relationship with 1 partner, get tested anyway, the number of people that don’t carry symptoms, or their ex-partner secretly cheated on them, or they have mistaken symptoms as a UTI. Anyway even when just preparing for trying to conceive you want to ensure you’re free of any infections as this can hinder pregnancy chances increase miscarriage rates or even hinder your fertility overall. So go get tested!
Should NI be banned in our communities
This is a debate that has many thoughts and opinions, and as new people join some don’t understand that all their thoughts have been previously considered and explored. In 2016 in our first community we trialed banning Natural Insemination, which meant no one could advertise it in their posts.
This lead to all sorts of impracticability people was being deceitful, there were more unsolicited private messages, so therefore a lot more complaints, then there were 2 consenting adults willing to do this method. Basically, it came down to Sex is a basic human nature act, and the act in itself isn’t illegal.
So it was decided that if a person advertising Ni and if that isn’t your choice of method you ignore that post and scroll on as that person isn’t for you. If a recipient posts Ai only then the Ni conversation never happens and if someone disrespects your post, you report it and they will serve a ban and they will quickly learn that such behavior isn’t tolerated here. If a person states they’re open to methods, then this is a conversation that can be discussed in a respectful manner.
It is true most countries, will deem parental rights to the donor as a father if a baby is conceived this way, and you will often hear people in the forums point this out. However, since Sperm Donation World communities began back in 2015 we have yet to have a legal issue arise from the few thousand children conceived via this method.
This can be accredited to how the community is set up as a whole and the options and versatility it provides. Going off the key principles, first of all, most donors donate because they don’t want financial responsibility and most women choose a donor because they don’t want to share custody of the child.
People who do choose to do Ni, feel that the authorities has no right to know on how their baby was conceived and consider that act a donation, most people will be careful of the words they use on their statuary declarations to not incriminate themselves or the donor.
Obviously this is a conversation the donor and recipient will have to look into and discuss how they wish to go about this.
But what if a donor changes their mind down the track?
The great thing about the Sperm Donation World communities is the ability to Co-parent, we have had donors over the years that have successfully helped families have children, then comes a time when they wish to become a parent. Sensibility wise it’s much more easier to write a new post looking to co-parent, our community is full of women who may feel that can’t fully financially support a child on their own, or like the idea of having an active father in the child’s life.
This way a donor can be part of the child’s life from day 1, be at the birth a baby takes 9 months to be born, a court case would take longer than that to sort out and arrange and the immense costs involved, it just isn’t purely logical for any donor to go down that path.
There are ways to cover your tracks.
- Keep all conversations over the internet, you can video call, phone call via Facebook these days and instant messenger is more popular than SMS, there really isn’t a need to exchange phone numbers anymore.
- Do the donations at another venue such as a hotel. If the other person doesn’t know where you live in most countries makes it harder to summon one to court.
- The same applies to your work location, you can be vague about your profession without having to be specific.
- Picking an experienced donor, if your donor hasn’t helped any families previously or has intentions of a very select few you’re making yourself more of a sole target as opposed to a donor that’s time is occupied more widespread with all the donor children, he would be less inclined of wanting custody over your child.
- Picking a donor that doesn’t appear to overly keen in having a part in the child’s life to begin with
- If you’re still worried perhaps Ni isn’t the method for you should consider Ai.
There has never been a scientific study comparing Ai to Ni, and there never will be an official study done as there is simply no commercial interest for one such company to invest the money into that type of study. In saying that we have our own community to analyze and do our own studies on average cycles it takes for success rate. There are many factors to consider in working this out, there is bound to be more success rates overall achieved with Ai because a lot more people do this method, than there is a person’s biological age to consider. It can be quite tricky to work out. The best formula is to consider similar age ranges of the recipients, the donor’s own sperm count.
In my experience, one of the best ways of figuring this out is the evaluate serial donors which are men with a large study pool, while men’s sperm counts always fluctuate one individual’s count is more steady than say a sample size range of 10 men. With serial donors, it’s all about the number of children they can sire, therefore most serial donors donate both methods. I found getting to know these men allowed for more honest conversations rather than just basic sales pitches to females saying Ni works better just to have sex. These men have no intention of having sex with me. The general consensus was that Ni was more successful overall but the question is why?
Reasons why success rates may be higher
- Sperm once exposed to Air, light, Seismic shock of handling and syringing, appear to shorten the longevity window, so if you’re receiving the donation not quite at peak, there appears less likely of the sperm being viable enough to penetrate the egg, that is why the Ai guide it emphasizes on precise timing. Within the Sperm Donation World community, there has been many cases of Ni being more successful in non peak windows, so Ni may be more beneficial if you experience PCOS or have trouble pinpointing your ovulation.
- Operator error hitting the cervix with the syringe can be difficult, while a penis may curve to the shape of the woman’s vaginal canal to lead directly to a cervix a syringe doesn’t have that same sort of flex. The ability to directly deposit on the cervix with non-liquefied sperm allowing it to stick to the cervical wall and minimizing the exposure of vaginas acidic environment. This is why an L.E.D speculum was introduced in some of the ai kits to minimize this operator error and allow precision.
- Double handling of Sperm leads to wastage, all starts from the ejaculate, does the donor get all the sample in the cup? From that point then when extracting the semen from the cup into the syringe, not of all of it gets captured and then when using the syringe some remains stuck in the syringe. If your donor has a good sperm count and a good volume, this shouldn’t effect the outcome too much, if your donor has a low count and a low volume well every bit counts.
What does it mean when a Donor says they have tried both methods and Ai hasn’t worked for them?
The first thought that usually comes to mind is it’s a sales pitch to dismiss Ai as an effective method. However there may be more underlining issues towards this, Ai relies on perfect peak timing in most successful conceptions, so if a donor and recipient aren’t knowledgeable and donations are happening to say on flashy smiley then of course it is most likely destined to fail.
Often a recipients lack of knowledge in knowing her peak ovulation or asking for donations, not on peak leads to a donor giving up on the ai method, that is why it is so important for donors to insist on following the ai guide and recipients to buy a kit to ensure best pregnancy chances so new donors don’t give up on the Ai method.
However, the most common scenario when a donor gives you this type of spill it pretty much translated to “My sperm count isn’t great” Donors sitting on the borderline count and questionable motility can’t afford for their sperm to be weakened any more than what it is and their only realistic chance of helping you successfully without wasting several tries maybe through this method. When a donor says this to you I wouldn’t be selecting them until they go out and get a semen analysis.
Is Natural Insemination Awkward?
Yes it can be awkward, just like your first job interview, your first day at school it’s a new experience to you, even if you’re previously accustomed to sex it’s different it’s the purpose of procreation. It’s important that you feel comfortable in your decision and communicate in a way that it is all understood of boundaries.
Some people like to meet prior to the insemination to get to know each other a bit more, some people like to wine and dine before the first time at least to ease the tension. Whether or not a few alcoholic drinks happen to calm the nerves really comes down to talking through this there is no textbook way of doing this as everyone is so different but it’s important that both parties are on the same page.
Natural Insemination can be very Vanilla and done in a delicate professional manner as there is usually no lust involved or people don’t want to gain feelings for the other person. Also, many donors tend to abstain in the lead-up to first natural insemination, so it could potentially be a short but sweet outcome if he comes equipped with a loaded weapon.
That being said you need to have clear boundaries on the do’s and don’t as people ain’t mind readers listed below is the natural insemination consent form. Ensure to get the other parties’ email addresses and fill out the document honestly and get them to do the same, so both parties are on the same page.